The Thanksgiving I Never Expected

A New Season, A New Family

If you don’t already know… I’M ENGAGED!! I get to marry the greatest person I’ve ever ever met and step into one of the most life-changing families I’ve ever been woven into. I originally planned to write a Thanksgiving post about gratitude and the things we all tend to overlook. But God shifted something in my heart this week.

It started with a simple conversation about our wedding guest list and turned into something that challenged a mindset I’ve carried my entire life.

The Mindset I Carried Since Childhood

It sounds right, doesn’t it?

Wanting the people who have “earned” their spot.

Wanting the ones who proved their loyalty.

Wanting only those who showed up when it mattered most.

For most of my life, that felt normal.

It felt wise.

It felt like protection.

I spent a lot of years trying to do the right thing even when I didn’t know what the right thing was. I spent a lot of my life figuring things out on my own, believing that people had to deserve a place in your life. That trust had to be earned. That closeness had to be earned. That even love had to be earned.

So of course I applied that same mindset to my wedding.

Of course I felt like only the people who had walked through the fire with me should be allowed to stand with me on one of the happiest days of my life.

It was a mindset shaped by survival… not by love.

By pain… not by grace.

By what I lacked growing up… not by what God is giving me now.

A Family That Lives Differently

I met Hannah’s family.

They didn’t earn each other’s place, they honored it.

They didn’t make one another fight for closeness, they offered it freely.

They didn’t wait to see who “deserved” love, they simply gave it, because family is family.

Their way of living didn’t argue with my mindset…

it exposed it.

It challenged it.

It invited me into a completely different way to see people.

That shift hit me hard one night when we were talking about the wedding. I made the comment that I only wanted people who had been loyal to be there. Hannah’s father looked at me, not judgmental, not offended, just puzzled.

As if the idea of “earning” your place in a family didn’t even make sense to him.

That look didn’t shame me.

It awakened me.

I realized that my definition of loyalty wasn’t built on wisdom…

it was built on old wounds.

Hannah’s dad is the kind of man who shows up for you no matter what.

Whether you “deserve it” or not.

Especially if you’re family.

And seeing that kind of steadfastness made me recognize how narrow my old mindset was and how God was opening a door for something deeper and more freeing.

Family Is the Hardest and Holiest Place to Be Bold

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Family is often the hardest group to be bold with.

They’re the ones you confront.

The ones you speak truth to.

The ones you encourage even when it’s uncomfortable.

And honestly, they’re usually the ones who have hurt you the most, simply because of the closeness and the time.

Hannah and her family have shown me what it looks like to love well, and to show up consistently. And standing next to them has made me realize how often I preach:

• Be bold.

• Love like Christ.

• Be intentional.

But this season required something new from me. the chance to practice what I preach.

The Decision I Never Thought I’d Make

This Thanksgiving, I’m doing something I swore I would never do again.

Something my pain told me wasn’t safe.

Something people would completely understand if I avoided forever.

I’m giving someone a second chance.

Someone who hurt me deeply.

Someone who created insecurities in my life.

Someone the world would say I should lock out and never revisit.

But love, real, Christlike, radical love doesn’t look like the world.

And through the way Hannah and her family showing Christs love, I’ve been shown a different way.

A healing way.

A courageous way.

A way that looks a lot like Jesus.

The Thanksgiving of Redemption

So this year, my gratitude isn’t just for the blessings that are easy to thank God for.

It’s also for the things He has allowed, shaped, broken, rebuilt, and redeemed in me.

Maybe this is the year of second chances.

Maybe it’s the year of renewed relationships.

Maybe it’s the year God rewrites old stories into something new.

This Thanksgiving, I’m choosing gratitude not just for what added value to my life,

but for what God is still restoring.

And for the first time ever, I’m thankful not just for the good…

but for the things I never thought I’d face again.

Because healing is gratitude.

Restoration is gratitude.

And love, real, unconditional, undeserved love is the greatest gratitude of all

Pray for me as I reach out to my dad in prison this week. For boldness and courage. ❤️